So, someone broke your heart and you want revenge. Running off with their best friend is cliche, and keying their car is, well, a bit criminal.
Have you considered ruining their favorite show instead?
As show-likers and movie-watchers, common courtesy dictates we keep mum for a time about, say, the latest “Game of Thrones” episode or the plot of the massively hyped new “Star Wars” film.
It’s a precarious balance of power: All it takes are a few words (Dumbledore dies on page 596), and suddenly we’ve stolen something from someone without touching a thing.
Usually, we don’t do this, because to do so is to be a majorly anarchical jerk.
But when the spoiler-ee in question is the ex who left you in the lurch, well, the rules get a little fuzzier.
It seems more and more jilted lovers are finding this to be an elegant solution for heartbreak.
A now-deleted Reddit post described this tactic beautifully.
Basically, a man was cheating on his girlfriend. After she found out and they broke up, she blocked him on every possible device and platform — except to send him spoilers for “Game of Thrones.”
The genius of this spoiler-bombing plan is that it hurts no one and requires minimal effort, but is still so, sooo annoying.
Commenters on the Reddit post were firmly in the girl’s corner. In fact, she seemed to be a bit of an inspiration.
Ah, but you will
It doesn’t really matter if the story was legit, because people were already doing this sort of thing.
When “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” was at peak hype, all it took to twist the knife in an ex’s heart were a few words about Han Solo. Months of anticipation, dissolved! No one should have that kind of power.
Historically, weaponized spoilers have been a tool of those who just want to watch the world burn.
… because the force is strong
It wasn’t even 10 years ago when the second-to-last Harry Potter book came out. The good eggs were biting their tongues while the bad eggs were gleefully announcing the details of Dumbledore’s death, arguably the juiciest spoiler fodder the franchise had offered up to that point.
A few people even committed acts of mass spoiling by shouting at those waiting in line to buy the book.
Hell, there was even a T-shirt dedicated to this specific act of jerkery. (And one for Star Wars! Please don’t, good people.)
How brutish that seems, in comparison to some sly spoiling in the wake of a broken heart. When you’re privy to a plot, you have the power to ruin someone’s day.
Use it wisely, or preferably, not at all.
By AJ Willingham, CNN