Jacology: Predictions For 2012

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MARYLAND HEIGHTS, MO. (KPLR11.com) — In Friday’s Jacology, Charles Jaco makes his predictions for 2012. Since this is the last Jacology of 2011, let’s look ahead to 2012, shall we? Herewith, some thoughts and predications. I’ll take credit for the ones that turn out right and I hope you’ll forget all the ones that turn out wrong.

In politics, Mitt Romney will probably be the republican presidential nominee. I say that because I assume the GOP wants to defeat President Obama. If they nominate anyone besides Romney, they won’t. The rest, from Rick Perry to Newt Gingrich are either too extreme, or carry too much baggage, or both. Romney will be nominated and then people will suddenly remember he’s a Mormon, and it won’t make any difference.

Who wins the white house in November? Beats me. Normally, I’d bet Romney would win, since Americans don’t like re-electing presidents when the economy’s a mess. But Americans also have short memories. If the economy isn’t a total wreck come November, and if democrats can make a big deal about Romney’s time as a hedge fund fat cat who helped buy companies and then lay off workers. Well, Obama may have a chance of re-election.

The cardinals will face the angels in the 2012 World Series. And when the cards sweep the halos in four games, Albert Pujols will say it was god’s will that he struck out eight times while earning his 135 thousand 802 dollars and forty six cents per game. In 2012 the rams will reach a deal to stay in St. Louis beyond the expiration of their lease in 2014. Twenty five rams fans will care. The rest will be no shows. The blues will make the playoffs.

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Jay Nixon will be re-elected governor. Claire McCaskill will be re-elected senator. Congressman Russ Carnahan and Congressman Lacy Clay will face each other is a nasty, racially charged primary election in Missouri’s first congressional district. No one will remember who won, because the election was so much fun.

The Tea Party caucus in Jefferson City will pass a bill allowing, the St. Louis region to become its own state. It does and what’s left of Missouri re-names itself Baja Iowa.

I’m Charles Jaco and that’s Jacology.