Please don’t tell police officers these things

The Bangor, Maine police would rather you don’t threaten your kids with arrest if they misbehave.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that without the uniform and badge, cops are regular people. So when they stand in line for a burger, they – like most of us – don’t want to hear tired jokes.

At least, that’s what the Bangor, Maine, Police Department says. On Sunday, the department posted a list on Facebook detailing six things people “don’t need to tell cops” in a public setting.

The first point addresses the tendency to tell a cop “I didn’t do it” (sometimes with a half chuckle) when an officer walks into a restaurant or other gathering place.

“We probably don’t think that you did do it,” says the post. “We probably don’t know what “it” is. We assume most people we run into during the average day didn’t do it, and neither did their friends.”

The pretend serious tone, written by the page’s part-time administrator Lt. Tim Cotton, is not unusual for the department, which has gained social media fans — and more than 230,000 likes — for its surprisingly chill recaps and blog The Duck Daily Sun.

If you’re drunk, they don’t need to know. If you’re not drunk, they also don’t want to know.

And please don’t tell your misbehaving 2-year-old to cut it out or the cops will arrest him.

Instead, the officers of Bangor, Maine, prefer a simple hello, chatting about the Sox or Patriots or giving out directions.

“We enjoy talking to all kinds of folks,” the post says. “Please don’t assume we assume that you are [a] bad person, a criminal, a fugitive from justice, or that you are a bad driver. We are just like you.”

Here’s the full list: