Local first-grader insists her school’s TP is ‘worse than jail’

BALLWIN, MO (KPLR) – A first-grade student at Carmen Trails Grade School was bummed out about a bathroom necessity. She thought her grade school had some tough “TP.”

“I kept telling them and they just ignored me, so I brought a sample home,” said student Penny Hoffman.

Figuring her school could spare a square or two of unused paper, Penny tried to get to the bottom of why it was not like the toilet paper at home.

“Penny had a theory about the toilet paper and, by this point, she had told us she thought it was worse than jail,” said Lynn Hoffman, Penny’s mom.

Penny took her toilet paper project all the way to the top authority at her school.

“This is the first time I’ve had a six-year-old with a full presentation like this, so I was really proud of her,” said Principal Gina Piccinni, Carmen Trails Grade School.

Using a sample from school, Penny compared the comfort of her family brand against others who obliged.

“She requested from family to get the samples, and it was her idea to put it all together,” said Lynn Hoffman.

Needing more to go on, she decided to flush out the facts of whether school toilet paper is better than jails.

A family member, who works at the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department, heard of Penny’s plight; soon a letter arrived with a roll of toilet paper from the St. Louis City Justice Center, with a letter of sworn authenticity.

“Like a whole roll of toilet paper,” Penny said.

On Thursday, Penny made her presentation to the principal, complete with samples and a letter from the police department.

“It ends with a note that says, ‘continue to respectfully stand up for what you believe in,’” said Lynn Hoffman. “Which, I think, is a really cool message.”

The principal has encouraged the scientific six-year-old to look into how the school might change brands and a possible softer toilet paper could be within reach.

And after all her research so far?

“It’s the same and I can’t believe I use this,” Penny said.