(KPLR) – In Tuesday’s Jacology, Charles Jaco looks at Texas trying to steal Missouri jobs.
Maybe it’s because so many of them wear funny hats. Maybe it’s the men wearing footwear with pointy toes and high heels. Maybe it’s the women with hair that needs its own ZIP code. Whatever it is, Texans have been a different sort of bunch ever since they stole the place from Mexico and decided to spell Texas with an “X” and not a “J.”
Take their lame duck governor, Rick Perry. Perry is the energizer bunny of politics. His run for president cratered like the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, but he just won’t quit. Perry’s coming to St. Louis this week to talk about how Texas is doing fine without an income tax. But between the income from oil and the income from federal spending on things like huge military bases and NASA headquarters, Texas really doesn’t need an income tax.
Anyway, Perry has been running radio and TV ads here trying to convince Missouri businesses to move to Texas. But in the interest of being accurate, maybe the ads should have been like this:
Come to Texas. We need your jobs ‘ cause frankly, we’re poor.
How poor? We’re the second poorest state. Thank god for Mississippi.
4 million people who work here live in poverty. 5 million of them don’t have any health insurance. That’s the worst in the country.
We have the lowest percentage of high school graduates in America.
But we still manage to produce more toxic waste than any other state.
So come to Texas. Get a career in fast food.
And remember, we have armed guards on our border. Just like North Korea.
With a sales pitch like that, I don’t know why all of Missouri hasn’t emptied out and moved to Texas.
I’m Charles Jacoand that’s Jacology.