Lionel: Body Mass Testing In Schools

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

NEW YORK, NY. (KPLR) – The battle over the bulge, has lawmakers sparring over how to keep kids healthy.

Lionel fears the wrong people are making the decision about your children.

This week it was reported that two Massachusetts lawmakers are fighting to reverse a 2009 legislative initiative that makes mandatory body mass index or bmi screenings in public schools in order to end the practice of "fat letters" being sent to the homes of overweight and/or obese kids.

Forget that Johnny can`t read, we just can`t have an obese illiterate.

Hey, Sparky, wake up. You`re next. They`re coming after you and now your kids. They`re coming after your super-size sodas, transfats, sodium, Styrofoam.

And now the obese, the corpulent, tubbies and felonious fatso`s. Meet the fat police coming soon to an elementary school near you.

Here`s what`ll happen. First, someone declares a war on obesity. Remember wars are never wars they`re excuses for control over you. Next, school cops won`t be armed with guns to protect your kids, no that would make sense. Instead they`ll be armed with fat calipers and bmi meters. Next, after three warnings you`ll be deemed an unfit parent and you`ll be charged with abuse, neglect or abandonment. Then for the recalcitrant, foster care and if it continues criminal charges.

And just think of what being tagged public fatso enemy number one will do to your kid`s already dwindling self-esteem. You think I’m kidding don`t you? No, be honest. You think here he goes again, Mr. Doom. Mister conspiracy theory. Listen, rip van winkle, wake up. Look at el bloombito, each week it`s another restriction.

Another petty, irrelevant, extraneous, unnecessary, priggish and nitpicky regulation against something. And what`s worse is that people applaud this guy. They think it`s just great. From every conceivable angle, from every arena and area forum of jurisdiction we are under a constant assault by an insidious and invidious nanny state. And now they want your kids. They want them vaccinated with god knows what, medicated whenever they see fit and tattooed with label after label that reminds and reinforces in them that they`re deficient.

And now let`s add fat to the mix. And I was a fat kid. A fat kid with glasses, braces, orthopedic shoes and who wore institutionalized catholic school uniforms and stuttered.

I was lucky, I had great parents and was introduced at an early age to the immutable reality of my superiority to most earthlings I was forced to share the world with. But I was lucky. You don`t send letters home tagging kids fat, especially, a little girl who must suffer the ravages of those who would seek to destroy her self-esteem.

Look, you can do one of two things: either get mad or get real mad.

Comment.